after nearly a decade of immersing myself in the pursuit of exploring, expanding, and understanding my sexuality, i’m ready to complete this cycle through a creative process that involves the public gaze. i view this relationship in various forms: the artist and the audience, the exhibitionist and the voyeur, the lover and the beloved. i’m dedicating myself to nine months of creative work to further my exploration of the “erotic self”. in this project, i will be the subject of study, place my sexuality on the stage, seek answers at the altar.
more than that, I'm exploring a part of the collective psyche that i feel still is suppressed, concealed to shield “obscenity”. the fact that we are still uncomfortable experiencing sexual expression, often struggling to witness without sexualizing it for our own benefit, informs that there is a deep rooted problem in our culture. can a woman be sexual without being sexualized?
what i choose to do in this creative pursuit is unique. and while there is nothing wrong with keeping parts of ourselves private, setting personal boundaries — i do sense both judgement of erotic expression and a collective suppression of erotic identity. it seems as though there is a cultural struggle in aligning our actions to reflect our authentic selves. i’m curious to know why.
i can not fully understand anyone except myself. this is my body, my psyche, my experiences, my life. but i do believe we are connected, and have more in common than we know. by sharing some of the deepest parts of myself, i hope to be a mirror to cast back to the collective a reflection of the erotic self.
as a writer, an actor, a poet, a filmmaker, and an erotic artist ~ i’m excited to integrate all facets of myself from this time forth. i’ve spent years and years compartmentalizing. i thought that by putting myself into neat little boxes, i’d be accepted. so, i tried to fit into the roles expected of me. never taking up too much space. hiding behind facades and pseudonyms. however, i’ve found that i have been slowly fractured.
now it’s time to call the many selves of myself back home. to weave them together. to fully embody my truth. to be the most authentic expression of myself. to integrate.
there are elements of myself and experiences i’ve had, that i will keep private. a magician never shows their hand, they say. but what i promise to share is true, vulnerable, and deeply personal.
there is much more to say, but i’ll leave that for the initiation of this creative project. so, take a seat and settle in for the journey.